how much

how much strain can a relationship take, today was another screw up, 1st month anniversary, and i have to fuck it up, again. they were all mocking at me, laughing at my stupidity. where has all the years gone to? where is the smart who thinks he knows it all? no where to be found. cannot even plan a fucking day out, lets face it, you are a fucking LOSER, you got married broke, and you shall remain broke. unromantic, uncreative, unspontaneous and a boring fuck. you think you know everything, but the fact is that you know nothing. go on, hide under the sheets and sleep it away, you fucking loser. you dun deserve love, or anything for that matter. you are just an egoistic broke bugger all wrap up in yourself, sprouting a few "clever" quotes here and there to making yourself look intelligent. 26 yrs of your life and a degree later you are still going nowhere. yep, just sit there and moat. thats just what you do every time anyway.

you are undeserving, of anything good in your life. improve yourself for fucks sake. your handwriting sucks and so do your typing. you suck at everything and you even suck at sucking. cannot plan, then fucking learn how. feeling sleepy eh? go and sleep it off, hide from the world, see if i care. useless.
look at the sorry state your are in now, yep, just fall asleep at the computer again, go on, sleep, you know u do that all the time.

suck it up and go on, love her, just love her, let that be the only source, the only reason, noting else really matters. work hard, work smarter, build a proper portfolio and get a better job. give her something, show her, prove to her that you are worthy of her love, words are cheap, prove it. make it happen, change, chamelous, change, 26 yrs of sitting around is enough, time to give more than you take out of life.